Hmmmmmmm…

Who am I really?

Where have have I come from? I know that I came from somewhere because I have
memories, an inner knowingness of being more than I am right now.

I choose at this time to express who I am now.
I choose to express what I look like right now.
I choose to express how I act, feel, believe, right now.

I choose to feel sad.
I choose to feel angry.
I choose to hate.
I choose to love.
I choose to hide.
I choose to stand up for what I believe is right and what is wrong.

I don’t remember choosing to feel grief
I don’t remember choosing to feel so much loss
I don’t remember choosing to feel like a dull shell inside.
I don’t remember choosing to left alone.

I remember choosing Rich
I remember choosing to have Christopher
I remember choosing to live even though I didn’t want to.
I remember choosing to donate Rich’s organs.

I remember I had chosen to get married.
I remember I chose to make my life with Rich and share everything with him.

So what happened?

Will I see Rich again?
Will he be waiting for me on the other side?
Will he go on to a new life?

What is the future for me?