Letting Go of a Loved One

The Challenge of Death and Dying: Letting Go of a Loved One

In the presence of loss and attachment, it is still possible to let go
with grace. How this happens will be different for each person, for
each individual heart loves in their own unique way, and yet there are
components that are similar, involving a deeper understanding of the
soul’s journey.

Beloved Ones, the passage into death
is not one to be feared, but one that signals the completion of one
phase of life so that another can begin. For in truth, there is no such
thing as death, only ongoing life for souls in an ever-expanding
process of exploration and learning. The journey is infinite, as are
the capacities of each and every soul.

Nevertheless, the emotions created by the loss or anticipated loss
of a beloved one are painful to the ones who remain behind, even when
there has been a long process of anticipating such an event, and even
when the loved one is elderly or quite ill. Even then, the ties of
connection can remain strong and the difficulty in letting go can
remain equally strong.

What needs to be understood is that these ties of attachment are
more than just emotions felt for a period of time. Often, there are
karmic ties of long standing that have created deep energetic
connections which can be felt within the body. For this reason it is
both physically and emotionally true that the loved one feels like a
part of oneself. The energetic ties create a sense of relationship over
years and over lifetimes. They create a sense of sharing a life with
another, even if that other is far away. When the other departs or is
on the brink of departing, it can feel as if a piece of oneself is
departing as well. In fact, this is literally the case, for following
the transition from the physical plane, and sometimes even before it
occurs, the energetic ties to those departing begin to be severed, not
totally, but enough so that there is an experience of the separation
that can be felt in a physical-energetic way. At times, following the
death of a loved one, this rupture can feel quite severe, as if there
were a forcible ripping away of part of oneself. These are the
energetic ties that are leaving along with the physical body of the one
who has departed. They are not the ties of love which are able to

How then, given the degree of loss and attachment that can be felt
toward those who are loved, is it possible to let go with grace? The
answer cannot be a general one, for each individual heart is different,
and each one loves in their own unique way. And yet there are
components that are similar. The first lies in the willingness to
deeply feel the loss, sadness, or grief that may be involved, knowing
that there is much of life and learning that is incorporated into the
letting go process itself. This process involves teachings that are
profoundly intimate that can open the heart to greater life and greater

At the same time it is important to entrust the departing one to
God and to the future unfoldment of their own journey, as well as to
trust the continuation of one’s own journey. This assurance of goodness
in the presence of death is a foundation for being able to let go with
grace, and the absence of this assurance, more than anything else,
allows the emotions of despair and loss to become paramount without the
softening feeling that arises from trust in the future.

It is also important to understand that the nature and timing of
death is part of the life-plan of each soul, built into the blueprint
for each incarnation as much as any other feature is built in. This
does not mean that the plan is immutable, for there are still choices
that remain to each soul regarding timing and regarding the manner of
death. There are also new decisions that can sometimes be made,
especially when a strong period of spiritual growth has taken place and
new factors enter the picture. Yet, for many, the time of transition
has been chosen by the soul in accompaniment with Divine will and
wisdom prior to arriving on the earth, and despite the suffering that
may be involved, the process itself is a significant part of life – as
great a teacher as any other aspect of life. In fact, the passage
through death is often of greater significance, both in the dying
process itself and in the final moments of breath. Often, a soul learns
during these final moments more than may have been possible during an
entire lifetime.

There is no remedy for the sadness of loss which is an intimate
part of love. And yet loss and sorrow can be accompanied by joy, for
the heart is large enough to hold both. If all of life is a saying
"hello" to circumstances, people, and events that cross one’s path,
then all of life is also and simultaneously a saying "goodbye" to those
same circumstances, people, and events so that something new can take
their place. Yet in the midst of this, in the presence of ceaseless
change, what remains is love. For the bonds of love are enduring and
cannot be severed by death. This is the ultimate comfort in the
presence of death and dying – that the bonds of love can grow roots
within the heart itself, and once implanted there, are able to remain

By Julie Redstone
Published: 8/31/2007

About Spiritual Gal

Carolanne is Medium, an Angel Intuitive, Akashic Record Consultant, Integrated Energy Therapist, and Chakra/Crystal Alignment Therapist who works primarily with the angel realm, Ascended Masters and Lords of the Akashic Records with the intention of helping others on their spiritual path or guidance in any area of their lives. Carolanne is currently accepting clients who would like to experience this form of learning, remembering who their souls are and healing. Please check out her web page for further information about Akashic Record readings, IET healing, Angel Intuitive/Angel Card Readings. http://spiritualgalsplace.weebly.com spiritualgalsplace@cogeco.ca
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