I visited Rich’s grave site this afternoon seeking
solace and seeking guidance for the change I wish to make in my life.
I cried in my car,
I felt his presence,
I heard his voice in my mind,
saying softly but firmly
he will be with me forever
his soul will be with me forever
In that grave is his body
a shell
nothing more
who he is, is with me and will always be with me always
He wants me to be happy
He wants me to make a life for myself and for Christopher
He loves me
He loves Christopher
He said he was sorry
He told me not to be silly
"Don’t be silly Carolanne."
I cried some more,
I cried for what could have been
I cried for the dreams and things we were going to do
I cried for him and my loss
A loss that will be with me always
a hollow pain
an ache in my heart and soul
that will not fully go away
I love you my love
my friend
my soul mate
I love you truly I do
and will always.