This photo is an excerpt from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements,
Interesting, I had two life lesson situations going on around this time last year. One was ongoing from the summer before, the other was a recent “attack” out of the blue.
“You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell.”
Though I didn’t agree with what was said or done to me…still the venom of what they said and acted upon went through me like poison. Looking back now I was in fact poisoned and I was for periods of time trapped in the dream of hell of my own doing. I allowed this poison on some level to filter into my peaceful world, corrupt my sense of well-being, sense of self and confidence.
I allowed myself to become bitter, angry and a VICTIM.
My inner voice gently and quietly said, ” you did nothing wrong, stand your ground, state your case and hold your head up high. This is a lesson.”
During these times I called upon my spiritual team which consists of my higher self, my spiritual guides, guardian angel, archangel Michael, archangel Raphel and Ascended Masters Jesus, Quan Yin, Mother Mary, Lu Sing and of course the Creator for assistance and protection from the energy cords thrown my way. I also had a life coach and have a close group of friends who helped me through this time.
During this rough process, I kept telling myself it is them not me, it is their stuff reflected onto me. It is their stuff they are working through and I am the one to help them see it…
Yeah right, easy to say this, not easy to do whilst in the midst of a traumatic life changing shitshow.
“We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, me, always me!
Nope! Okay, maybe a little but not everything not in this case.
- I am not responsible for someone else’s toxicity nor their validation as a human being.
- I am not responsible for someone’s mental health issues as pertaining to how they view themselves, how they view things and how they respond to things.
- I am responsible for myself for being kind, gentle, caring and supportive when I need to be.
- I am responsible…to not allow others to treat me with disrespect, abuse, slander both professionally and individually. To stand up for myself and state clearly I DID NOTHING WRONG!
- I choose not to engage in toxic conversations and behaviours.
- I chose to walk away, to disengage myself and take the high road.
- I chose not to give in to my attackers.
- I chose to stand up and face my foes.
- I chose to be me.
Over the past year with help, healing has begun. I still have wounds and scars. I still do not trust though I am working on it. I know I have moved from anger to a gentler energy and frame of mind. I have a clearer and brighter outlook both in my professional and personal life. My mantra…”Not my journey…not my stuff”.